All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
