They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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