We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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