i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
