I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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