Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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