I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
