bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
