I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
