Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
