She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
