I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
