OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize