I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
