you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
