I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
