Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
