$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
