I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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