Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
