It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
