In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
