shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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