Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Text me some of your sweat
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
