I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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