She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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