god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
