I think my vagina is haunted
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
