I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
