thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
