I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
