Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize