This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
