fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
