i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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