Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
