remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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