there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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