Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
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