i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
