He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
