i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
We had sex on a dog bed..
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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