like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Randomize
