Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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