Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
even my farts smell like vagina
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
