apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
being pregnant is like rehab
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
