remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
it hurts more in the daytime
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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