The brown eye won't let me do that either.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
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