We won't sleep together?
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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