Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Randomize
