maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
