Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
