Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
