I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize