She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
